IELTS Task 2 writing sample answer Band 8 Essay 2

IELTS Task 2 writing sample answer Band 8 Essay 2

Band score: approximately 8.0

Task: Task 2

The answer below has been rated purely based on the public IELTS descriptors. Click the word or words in red to see the correction, and scroll to the bottom of the page to read our comments on the report.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

An increasing number of families have computers at home.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of internet access for minors?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.


Although there are a number of disadvantages in relation to the usage of internet ‘internet usage’ by youngsters, the positive effects are outweighed by the negatives, as will be discussed below.

Primarily, access to internet in the comfort of home is likely to be a factor that leads to the increase of knowledge in a variety of fields.┬áNot only is scheduling homework this is a little unclear – families don’t schedule homework made easier in the case of families owning a computer with internet access, but, in addition, there is no ‘is almost no’ field where the proper information is not available online; This sentence is getting overly long – start a new sentence here in some cases, the way it is presented is even more appealing to a youngster. To illustrate, many websites are interactive, replace the comma with ‘and’ brightly coloured, offering the youngster a multitude of ways of learning. Moreover, knowledge of how to use the internet effectively is fast becoming an essential skill throughout throughout what? the world? life? This needs a little more development, so is best learned early.

There are reasons to suggest there are also disadvantages to online access, in particular if it is facilitated within a known environment this isn’t clear – if it’s a known environment, why is it a disadvantage?. It could be argued that youngsters are less prone to engage in face-to-face social activities, as a result of spending too much time indoors.

However, a number of solutions could be proposed to limit the negative effects of the internet access; change this to ‘such as’ or similar the use of software that registers or limits the availability of certain types of websites is often recommended. Furthermore, the amount of time spent indoors could be easily limited ‘easily be limited’ by parents.

In brief, provided there is an adequate control on the part of the children's ‘of children by’ older relatives, in relation to the amount of time spent online and the content accessed, the technology in question is not only beneficial, but also necessary, and it allows the youngsters to broaden their education and perspectives.

(289 words)


Comments:

In the second body paragraph, the argument isn’t very clear with regards being ‘facilitated within a known environment’, but in general the response is well constructed and supported.

There are some errors with using the article and the word ‘internet’ (‘access to internet’) and also some areas where the vocabulary is either missing or inappropriate (‘youngsters are less to engage’). However, there are some academically constructed complex sentences.

 


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