IELTS Academic Task 1 writing sample Band 8 Report 2
Band score: approximately 8.0
Task: Task 1
The answer below has been rated purely based on the public IELTS descriptors. Click the word or words in red to see the correction, and scroll to the bottom of the page to read our comments on the report.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The bar chart shows the number of children in two different age groups in an average class in different countries.Advertisement
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart compares the average number of pupils per class in four different countries: Japan, Hong Kong, Russia and the United States. The vertical axis shows the students per class from 0 to 40 and the two coloured columns present the children’s ages, 9 and 13.
As can be seen in the graph, the significantly lowest number with just over 10 pupils regarding the age group 9, concerns Russia. [Although not grammatically wrong, we tend to put the subject first if the object phrase is long (i.e. ‘Russia had the significantly lowest number with just over 10 pupils regarding the age group 9’] It is followed by the United States (slightly more than 40 [’20’]) and by Japan with a number of around 30 pupils. In Hong Kong, there are about 35 students in a class. The number of students per class in all countries, except Russia, reaches or exceeds the global average (22).
The number of students in Japan and Hong Kong are inverse in comparing [‘when comparing’] the age [‘those students aged’] 9 with the age [‘those aged’] 13. In other words, Japanese classes are the biggest (35) and are succeeded by Hong Kong (marginally over 30 students).Advertisement
The Russian (about 10) and American (17) figures are inferior to [this is a value judgement, meaning ‘not as good as’ – avoid making judgements in Task I by using something like ‘lower than’] the global average (18).
Overall, just Japan and Hong Kong are above, Russia is below and America correspond [‘corresponds’] with the global average.
The introduction is excellent, but the presentation of data in parenthesis (brackets) is not ideal.
There are one or two areas where the vocabulary could be improved, but in general this is very well written with only minor points to change to achieve a top score.
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