IELTS Academic Task 1 writing sample Band 5 Report 1
Band score: approximately 5.0
Task: Task 1
The answer below has been rated purely based on the public IELTS descriptors. Click the word or words in red to see the correction, and scroll to the bottom of the page to read our comments on the report.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The chart below shows how people travelled to work in 1996 and 2001.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart is shows [just ‘shows’ – delete ‘is’] the different modes of transportation used by the people in Grahamston on their way to work in the year [‘years’ – plural] 1996 and 2001.
It is note [‘notable’] that both in the year 1996 and 2001 [‘in both years’ avoids repetition from the previous sentence] , a majority [‘the majority’ – there can only be only one majority] of the people in Grahamston drove their own car or truck to go to [delete this] work. There were [‘This accounted for’ would be better] about 58% in 1996 and increased to 68% in 2001. In the year [delete this – it is obvious from the context] 1996, the commonest used of [‘the most commonly used form of’] transportation was a car or truck with 58% [delete this – it is repetition] and followed by private vehicle pasengers with 12% and a slightly [‘slight’] difference of 2% with the used [‘use’] of public transport of [‘at’] 10%. The two least mode [‘common modes’] of transport in Grahamston was by [‘were’ – delete by] walking with 7% and by the bicycle of only [‘using a bicycle at only’] 2%. There were about 6% people in Grahamston that worked at home.
In 2001, there was an increased [‘increase’] of 10% in using their car and truck [‘cars or trucks’] on their way to worked [‘work’] from 58% to 68% in 1996 and 2001 accordingly. There was a slight increased [‘increase’] of 3% in working at home reaching up to 9%. And [delete this – don’t start a sentence with ‘and’] with regards in [delete this] using bicycle [either ‘a bicycle’ or ‘bicycles’] ther [‘there’] is an inceased [‘increase’] of only 1%. There was [add ‘a fall of’] almost half of the people used [‘who used’] public transport from 10% in 1996 to 5% in 2001. An inclined [‘A rising’] number of people walked to worked with 7%.
In conclusion [avoid this word in Task I. Use ‘To sum up’ instead] , mostly [‘most’] of the people in Grahamston travelled to work by car or truck in 1996 and 2001 and there was increased [‘an increased’] number of people who stayed at home for worked [‘work’] with 6% in 1996 and 9% in 2001. The were only few [‘a few’] people who used the other modes of transportation.
The first problem here is that the report is too long, and there are a number of minor errors with prepositions (‘of only 2%’) and structure. There is also too much repetition of key information. Basic grammar forms have a number of errors (there was an increased) and even simple plurals have been missed (the two least mode of transportation). There are a number of significant spelling errors and some of the language used is inappropriate (an inclined number of people). However, there is a clear overview and the writer has identified and expressed the main trends.
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